A Grand Day Out
by MikeJaffa
Summary: My welcome fic for Jody Whittaker: the 12th Doctor had planned for him, Bill, and Nardole to spend a quiet day in Brighton. But then the 13th Doctor shows up, and she's not sure why she's there.


TITLE: A Grand Day Out

AUTHOR: MikeJaffa

SYNOPSIS: My welcome fic for Jody Whittaker: the 12th Doctor had planned for him, Bill, and Nardole to spend a quiet day in Brighton. But then the 13th Doctor shows up….and she's not sure why she's there.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: (1) It's been 22 years since I was last at Brighton Pier, so apologies for what I fudge. (2) This is a product of my silly muse, so put down food and drink.

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"So you're the next one in line?" asked the talk, gaunt, gray haired man with a Scottish accent Clara had called the 12th Doctor. The Doctor knew that strictly speaking, he was not in his 12th incarnation. But the one thing he remembered about Clara was how she had numbered his selves when he had explained it one time, so it had stuck.

"Uh-huh," said the shorter blonde woman…the 13th Doctor according to Clara's nomenclature, and from what 12 had gathered, newly regenerated. The two Doctors and Nardole were walking along Brighton Pier, heading away from the town, on a warm, sunny June day in 2017.

"I'm going to change again," the 12th Doctor said, a slight note of bitterness in his voice. "Not sure how I feel about that. I guess I got settled in Bristol."

"Yeah, I did."

"Can I ask me something?" Twelve said. "I don't mind being a woman. I think Bow Tie and Scarf both thought it was coming. But your hair looks like it has black roots. How could I regenerate and you come out with dyed hair?"

"I think I had a bottle of peroxide in my pocket at the time."

"Why was I carrying peroxide?"

"Dunno. But you're going to."

"Assuredly. Another question: why am I here? Anything happening? Anything BIG?"

"Something happens, Eyebrows, but I'm not sure what. But nothing like Omega or the other multiple Doctor times. It all results in something boring and annoying, but I can't for the lives of us remember what. I just knew I had to be here, so you thought we should get it over with."

(Nardole rolled his eyes. "I will never see personal pronouns the same way again.")

"Am I sure, Blondie?" Twelve asked. "It's been quiet lately, too quiet."

"No," Thirteen answered, "nothing to break the quiet in that way…I think."

Nardole smiled. "I don't mind some quiet time sir….and Ma'am. No Daleks, no Zygons, no conspirators. Just a warm sunny day, blending in with humans who are enjoying themselves…."

The electric motors of a Segway squealed as one bearing a weeping angel came up behind them and whizzed around them. It came to a stop several feet in front of them. It spun to face them, and they saw the angel had a fangy grin. But it didn't seem to be threatening. More like she was having fun.

Nardole finished: "…and a weeping angel on a Segway." The trio had stopped and Nardole frowned. "How is she doing that? Isn't she quantum locked?"

Twelve: "Probably a low intensity gravity field in the skirt shifts her center of mass."

Thirteen: "Really? I thought she was just shifting her weight. We can't actually see her legs, so maybe there's some wiggle room."

Bill pushed her way between twelve and Nardole. She had a bicycle helmet on and was panting. "Ok..." she gasped at the angel, "fun's fun. Now give it back!"

"Bill?" the 13th Doctor yelped. "What are you doing with a weeping angel?"

Bill turn and looked at 13. Then her gaze shifted to 12. "Why didn't you tell me you knew Jodie Whittaker?"

Both Doctors yelped, "Who?"

"Right, you never saw Broad-" She turned back to the angel, who was weaving away. "Oh, no!"

They chased the angel to the end of the pier. Strangely, no one of the other pier goers noted the statue on the Segway being stalked by two men and two women as it backed towards the railing at the end, the English Channel lapping beneath it.

Bill said, "Look. Ok, you can drive that thing and it's the most fun you've had in forever. I get it! But I'm the one who paid for it. If you break it, I'm in trouble. So give…it…BACK!"

Bill lunged. The angel backed up. Miraculously, there was no one behind her as the Segway's tires smoked and it sped into the railing….

….and through it.

Nadole, Bill, and the two Doctors raced to the railing as they heard the splash. They cautiously peered over the edge.

Bill was distraught. "There goes my deposit!"

"Um, Eyebrows?" the 13th Doctor said. "I think I remember what came of this."

"Let me guess, Blondie," Twelve replied: "a very long meeting with the university's lawyers and accountants."

"Good guess."

The End. Welcome to Doctor Who, Jodie Whittaker!


End file.
